Remind Me Not To Bother Next Year

How Irony-y
Just a minute ago, in the process of removing something stuck between my teeth using a toothpick, the end of the toothpick snapped off and became stuck between my teeth.

Heroes, Fugliness & Golden Balls. And By Balls, I Mean Artistic Vision.
Quite an interesting few days on the entertainment front I guess, over here at least. Heroes and Ugly Betty, two of the highest-rating and most acclaimed shows of the 06-07 U.S. television season debuted on NZ screens, followed by the Golden Globes on Tuesday night. Heroes in my mind came off as a disjointed show with good ideas and no idea how to execute them, but I'll give it time to find its feet; afterall, Prison Break initially seemed like a superficial Shawshank knockoff right down to the character types (Hadley=Bellick, Bogs=T-Bag, Brooks Hatlen=Westmoreland) and protagonist-warden relationship, and that show's turned out more than okay. Ugly Betty? Could be decent I guess. Seemed likable, even if the pilot's resolution was as cliched and predictable (as well as somewhat not-at-all-believable) as hell.

More interestingly, the Golden Globes kicked off the major awards season. Did I say more interestingly? Because the dull bastard child of the Oscars and Emmys just got duller. Hampered by overly long speeches from overly uninteresting "Oh wow! Must thank everyone"ers and the lack of a host, the show remained watchable if only due to the large proportion of British Globe-winners, because while the Yanks kept going up and listing every name in the phone book while doing their best not to faint with surprise, it seemed like every British recipient had something amusing to say and wasn't really taking it all that seriously because, you know, the awards are afterall a load of nonsense. Until at least, as Bill Nighy commented with a sly grin, you win one: then they suddenly seem "so real and meaningful."

The worst crimes of the night came in the major categories at the end which were not only rushed because they'd let everyone, mostly Warren Beatty, talk too long, and were consequently reduced to quick anti-climactic buzzkilling roll-calls of nominees, but were also scarred by Oscar-syndrome at times, especially in the Comedy/Musical category where the best four (consensus-wise) were all overlooked in favour of Oscar-bait Dreamgirls (triumphing in its category over the likes of Little Miss Sunshine and Thank You For Smoking because its "that type of movie" and is also the only one currently in cinemas, which no doubt earned it the all-important retirement-home vote by being the only film most aging critics would have remembered). I can live with Babel taking home Drama; I've always thought awarding zero, one or multiple films in any given year makes more sense (and will never happen) because the "best" film in one year is often the 6th best the next year - i.e. there's no quality standard, rendering the award meaningless beyond an intra-annual comparison - but Babel was at least "at that standard" even though many will probably argue The Queen and The Departed, neither of which I've yet seen, are better and should have taken home the globe if only one is up for grabs. But well done to Babel, or something.

At the Globes they inevitably try to stuff too much into one evening, mainly because the Hollywood Foreign Press knows that without the TV-Cinema hybrid hook they'd be exposed for the redundant pre-Oscar prediction ceremony that it really is; as it happens, nobody seems willing to publicly point out that awarding TV shows barely half-way through their seasons is stupid and pointless, and so the show lives on for another year. So with the lettuce already overflowing from between its one-too-many buns, what you don't get then is that all-important, time-consuming ingredient: the host. The Oscars are the Oscars for a lot of reasons, but its with a strong host and presenting line-up that the show usually ends up more worthwhile for the creativity on-stage than for that which the show's celebrating off it. Who can forget Ben Stiller's "green screen" stunt last year? If you missed it, it's worth a look - possibly the best thing to happen to the Oscars in years. Can't find it on YouTube myself.

Yeah, well this year at the Globes he stood there and announced the nominees and looked bored. And strangely old. In fact, only Tom Hanks's "ballsy" Beatty presentation kicked any kind of ass.

Anyways, the good news is that the next lot of major awards will be at the BAFTAs, a show which inevitably kicks all kinds of ass from a variety of continents because it's crawling with British people who, as we have already established, are entertaining by nature. What's more, the BAFTAs award movies for "being good". Yeah, that old philosophy.