Snore

How Predictable? This Predictable.
So, as I type this, the annual Golden Globes have come to an end and as usual my predictions were right on the money. Hell, so were most people's. Here's a rundown of the winners:

Movies
Brokeback Mountian picked up Best Drama, Best Director and Best Screenplay. These awards were never a contest. It has the Oscar locked up, quote me on that. It's had it for months and now this is the final nail in the coffin for any of the other contenders. OR IS IT? Hold on a sec now, Walk The Line (as predicted) picked up Best Comedy or Musical (it is neither, but rather a drama about a musician like Ray, the other "Musical") as well as Best Actor and Actress in a comedy or musical. Still, I think that's just because all the big competition is listed under drama more than anything, and it wouldn't have won any of these against Brokeback, Huffman or Hoffman. Hehe, the drama actor and actress winners have similar names. How humourous for simple-minded fools like myself.

Courtesy of IMDB (in other words, "shamelessly stolen without permission from IMDB, complete with ready-made links"):

Best Motion Picture - Drama
Winner:
Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Other Nominees:
The Constant Gardener (2005)
Good Night, and Good Luck. (2005)
A History of Violence (2005)
Match Point (2005)

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Winner:
Walk the Line (2005)
Other Nominees:
Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005)
Pride & Prejudice (2005)
The Producers (2005)
The Squid and the Whale (2005)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Winner:
Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote (2005)
Other Nominees:
Russell Crowe for Cinderella Man (2005)
Terrence Howard for Hustle & Flow (2005)
Heath Ledger for Brokeback Mountain (2005)
David Strathairn for Good Night, and Good Luck. (2005)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama Winner:
Felicity Huffman for Transamerica (2005)
Other Nominees:
Maria Bello for A History of Violence (2005)
Gwyneth Paltrow for Proof (2005)
Charlize Theron for North Country (2005)
Ziyi Zhang for Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Winner:
Joaquin Phoenix for Walk the Line (2005)
Other Nominees:
Pierce Brosnan for The Matador (2005)
Jeff Daniels for The Squid and the Whale (2005)
Johnny Depp for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Nathan Lane for The Producers (2005)
Cillian Murphy for Breakfast on Pluto (2005)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Winner:
Reese Witherspoon for Walk the Line (2005)
Other Nominees:
Judi Dench for Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005)
Keira Knightley for Pride & Prejudice (2005)
Laura Linney for The Squid and the Whale (2005)
Sarah Jessica Parker for The Family Stone (2005)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Winner:
George Clooney for Syriana (2005)
Other Nominees:
Matt Dillon for Crash (2004)
Will Ferrell for The Producers (2005)
Paul Giamatti for Cinderella Man (2005)
Bob Hoskins for Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Winner:
Rachel Weisz for The Constant Gardener (2005)
Other Nominees:
Scarlett Johansson for Match Point (2005)
Shirley MacLaine for In Her Shoes (2005)
Frances McDormand for North Country (2005)
Michelle Williams for Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Best Director - Motion Picture
Winner:
Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Other Nominees:
Woody Allen for Match Point (2005)
George Clooney for Good Night, and Good Luck. (2005)
Peter Jackson for King Kong (2005)
Fernando Meirelles for The Constant Gardener (2005)
Steven Spielberg for Munich (2005)

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture
Winner:
Brokeback Mountain (2005) - Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana
Other Nominees:
Crash (2004) - Paul Haggis, Robert Moresco
Good Night, and Good Luck. (2005) - George Clooney, Grant Heslov
Match Point (2005) - Woody Allen
Munich (2005) - Tony Kushner, Eric Roth

Of these 10 categories, I picked 9 but failed to go for Rachel Weisz in the Supporting Actress category (I though they'd give Brokeback Mountain an acting award at some point and Michelle Williams seemed a good bet despite sucking on Dawson's Creek). I haven't bothered posting the song or score stuff as no-one really cares.

Television
I'll skip over mini-series awards too as no-one watches them unless they are produced by Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg and are about the second world war. And are called Band Of Brothers.

Lost & Desperate Housewives, the ratings winners, found themselves on stage tonight winning Drama and Comedy respectively. And - WHAT THE? Steve Carell actually won best actor in a comedy for The Office!!!! Yes!!!! An awards show that actually gives a crap about the people who really deserve to win! Actually, the Globes suck like the Oscars and just "go with the buzz flow," but I'll suspend my dislike of them for a moment to celebrate Carell's victory. Interesting to note that despite Desperate Housewives actresses having four of the five comedy show actress nods they lost to the fifth nominee (whose show I have never heard of). I think Marcia Cross deserves an award myself, with the equally-impressive Felicity Huffman having won at the Emmys already. Kiefer Sutherland lost Best Actor in a drama, though I know Hugh Laurie's good from what brief looks I've had at House.

Best Television Series - Drama
Winner:
"Lost" (2004)
Other Nominees:
"Commander in Chief" (2005)
"Grey's Anatomy" (2005)
"Prison Break" (2005)
"Rome" (2005)

Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Winner:
"Desperate Housewives" (2004)
Other Nominees:
"Curb Your Enthusiasm" (2000)
"Entourage" (2004)
"Everybody Hates Chris" (2005)
"My Name Is Earl" (2005)
"Weeds" (2005)

(Note how 2 shows I just plugged without even seeing were nominated? I really am right all the time, and thus you should listen to my recommendations and enjoy a richer, more fulfilling life... in front of your TV screen...)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Winner:
Steve Carell for "The Office" (2005)
Other Nominees:
Zach Braff for "Scrubs" (2001)
Larry David for "Curb Your Enthusiasm" (2000)
Jason Lee for "My Name Is Earl" (2005)
Charlie Sheen for "Two and a Half Men" (2003)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy
Winner:
Mary-Louise Parker for "Weeds" (2005)
Other Nominees:
Marcia Cross for "Desperate Housewives" (2004)
Teri Hatcher for "Desperate Housewives" (2004)
Felicity Huffman for "Desperate Housewives" (2004)
Eva Longoria for "Desperate Housewives" (2004)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama
Winner:
Hugh Laurie for "House, M.D." (2004)
Other Nominees:
Patrick Dempsey for "Grey's Anatomy" (2005)
Matthew Fox for "Lost" (2004)
Wentworth Miller for "Prison Break" (2005)
Kiefer Sutherland for "24" (2001)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama
Winner:
Geena Davis for "Commander in Chief" (2005)
Other Nominees:
Patricia Arquette for "Medium" (2005)
Glenn Close for "The Shield" (2002)
Kyra Sedgwick for "The Closer" (2005)
Polly Walker for "Rome" (2005)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Winner:
Paul Newman for Empire Falls (2005) (TV)
Other Nominees:
Naveen Andrews for "Lost" (2004)
Jeremy Piven for "Entourage" (2004)
Randy Quaid for "Elvis" (2005) (mini)
Donald Sutherland for "Commander in Chief" (2005)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
Winner:
Sandra Oh for "Grey's Anatomy" (2005)
Other Nominees:
Candice Bergen for "Boston Legal" (2004)
Camryn Manheim for "Elvis" (2005) (mini)
Elizabeth Perkins for "Weeds" (2005)
Joanne Woodward for Empire Falls (2005) (TV)

May I just ask - how do James Spader and William Shatner, having won every award known to man for their roles as Alan Shore and Denny Crane respectively, suddenly not get nominated? Are they suddenly worse for no reason? This just highlights the way the Globes, like the Oscars, try to "give it to someone who hasn't already won." The Golden Globes are as predictable and meaningless as hell, but Steve Carell's win at least gives them an ounce of credibility which they can use to try to stay afloat as they sink beneath 16 tonnes of bullshit.