The Dominion Post Can Go To Hell

So desperate is Vincent Ward to dodge the bad buzz surrounding his latest film, the stinker River Queen, that an advertisement has been taken out in the latest Weekend Herald which prints the entirety of The Dominion Post's glowing 4.5 our of 5 review as a counter measure to the Herald's (surprisingly) much more accurate 2 out of 5 score. There is a part of this Post review which compares River Queen to, amongst other things, Apocalypse Now. Let me say this again. River Queen is being favourably compared to Apocalypse Now by a person whose opinion on such matters earns him a salary. If it turns out that the review was posted in some joke-section of the paper then all will be forgiven, but otherwise I'll be turning a blind eye to any Dominion Post reviews, grades & opinions in future and I can justify this further as a seperate quote appears on the ad from another journalist from the same paper who exclaims that it's "one of the 10 best New Zealand movies of the past 10 years!" or something along those lines. Off the top of my head I could name Whale Rider & The World's Fastest Indian as being better and that took 2 seconds. At that rate, extended over an hour of brainstorming, I could theoretically name 3,600 kiwi films which are better than River Queen. Hell, why don't we all just direct our own better-than-River-Queen NZ-made film right now. It's so easy, anyone can join in on the fun. It works like this: Turn on a video camera. Point it at something. Mission complete.

Above: Dominion Post employees graze near New Plymouth (Reuters)